


Picture Perfect

by daivinchi



Series: Victuuri Week 2017 [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alzheimer's Disease, Angst, Confession, Day One, M/M, surprise, victuuriweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-09-22 13:56:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9610445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daivinchi/pseuds/daivinchi
Summary: Victor wants to capture all his memories, before he forgets them.





	1. 01

**Author's Note:**

> This fic contains a diagnosis of Alzheimer's. Any information used to portray Alzheimer's is based on my research and articles and other personal posts by others on the internet were used for me to understand the disease a bit more. Though I apologize if there were any inaccuracies and do let me know if there is anything I have written that bothers you!   
> Other than that, thank you for checking out my fic   
> :)

Victor stirs in his sleep, a frown forming on his face as he peels his tired eyes open. He couldn’t feel any warmth next to him, and finds himself sighing. Lifting his arm, his hands grasp the air until he feels soft hair. Victor hums as he scoots himself closer, gently running his fingers through his boyfriend's hair. Yuuri faces his back towards Victor, still deep in sleep and Victor could only smile softly to himself as he ran his fingers across Yuuri’s arm, draping his own over Yuuri’s body. The clock reads 5:00 a.m. and Victor ignores the thrum in his chest, choosing to close his eyes, after all he has a few more hours until his appointment. 

When his eyes open again, he finds himself face to face with Yuuri, whose eyes remain closed. A smile stretches across his lips as his eyes roam over every inch of Yuuri’s face. Thick lashes creating feather shadows from the morning sun, and his pale lips parted slightly as he inhales. Raising his hand, Victor cups Yuuri’s face, running his thumb across his soft cheek. At times like these, he always wound up wondering what he has done to deserve someone so stunning, but his looks weren’t the only thing. Truthfully, Victor’s heart hasn't been captured until he got to know the shy, food-loving boy. They were much younger at the time, Yuuri was 21 when Victor first laid his eyes on him, and over time they began to get close. Meet up often, hands brushing against each other shyly until one of them decides to make a bold move, though Victor can’t remember who was the one. He can’t remember. Again another one of these days. He felt as though he has been forgetting a lot of things recently. Things he could never imagine himself forgetting. Yet, today made him feel worse. He couldn’t remember the entire memory, a memory he cherishes. All the memories with Yuuri were important, and to forget even a single one of them left him feeling empty. He closes his eyes, eyebrows knit together as he tries to imagine the scene all over again. 

The weather. Yes, it was a dark, gloomy day. It had been raining on and off all day. But Victor’s heart was thrumming against his chest, as he leaned against the door waiting for Yuuri. He clucked his tongue as he heard thunder rumbling above. He wanted to just take a walk with Yuuri, and catch up with how things had been since the last time they’ve met. Yuuri had to cancel a lot of plans that Victor had wanted do for the sake of exams that had been controlling his life for the past two months. But Victor hadn’t minded, after all it was good to see Yuuri being responsible, and he had told himself just to wait two months, and they’d get to hang out again. But this wasn’t his ideal situation to meet up with Yuuri, under the pouring rain. “Victor!” Victor felt his heart pause before it had begun to beat erratically, as he watched Yuuri jog over to him. “Sorry, sorry! Were you waiting long?” Yuuri leaned against the wall, trying to catch his breath. 

“Not at all, how about we go take a seat inside?” Victor was surprised to hear how calm his voice was, while his mind was in a state of madness. The two walked inside, choosing to sit in the corner of the restaurant and were handed their menus. Yuuri brushed his hair back, and Victor could only swallow, immediately looking back down at the menu. Both of them had ordered the same meal, what was it? Pasta? But both found themselves grinning at each other.

They noticed the rain had stopped and decided to take their leave. Both had walked next to each other quietly, until, they found their hands linked together.

But Victor could still not figure out who took the initiative, maybe it was him. It certainly would make sense, considering Victor finds himself initiating a lot of the touching parts in their relationship.

“What are you frowning about so early in the morning?” Victor's eyes land on Yuuri who turns and stretches his arms out, his cheeks puffing out as he holds in his yawn. Yuuri looks back at Victor, his fingers pinching and pulling at Victor’s cheeks. “What are you thinking about?” Victor contemplates over whether he should ask or not, but his memory isn’t so bad that he would forget every detail. Right? “Yuuri.” Victor mumbles, burying his face against the crook of Yuuri’s neck. “Do you remember the first time we held hands?” Yuuri’s chest rumbles and Victor can only assume he is holding back his laugh. 

“Hmm, yeah that day we were stuck in the restaurant when it was raining pretty hard?” Yuuri hums, as he combs his fingers through Victor’s silver hair. The remain quiet for a few seconds, just the regular rhythm of their mornings. Neither of them like loud mornings, so everything was quiet in the house, they always start off their mornings snuggling close, still for the most part remaining silent. 

“Ah!” Victor looks up to see Yuuri grinning, “That day you got those noodle you’ve been texting me about.” Victor frowns, noodles? He remembers nothing about noodles. “Right after you kept on talking about how I should stop getting Ravioli so often and just try something different. Though I suppose I did take part of your suggestion seriously.” Yuuri smirks, gazing up at Victor who only gave him a blank stare. 

Ravioli? Victor blinks, trying to reimagine that night, but now he couldn’t come up with anything. “Yuuri? We held hands that night right?” Victor hopes he doesn’t sound desperate, but he wants to know if at least got the main part right. They must’ve held hands, sure Victor can’t remember the exact events. But that can be normal too, afterall it’s been 8 years since then. 

“Of course. After all your little advice was the reason I decided to hold your hand.” The Yuuri bursts into a fit of giggles, hiding his face behind his hands. “Just thinking about it, still gets me flustered. I was terrified that night,” Yuuri pulls his hands slightly apart to stare at Victor. “I was worried if I had acted too soon. My mind was racing as I gripped your hand. God Victor, it was one of the most best and most terrifying moments with you.” Victor could only smile, pressing his lips against Yuuri’s forehead. 

So what if he did get his memory mixed up? He knows the story now, it was going to be okay.

After the two get up, and begin the regular morning routine, Victors finds himself staring at the clock. 9:40 a.m. He has only ten minutes before he needs to walk out the door into the doctor’s office. Pulling out a deep blue tie, Yuuri’s favorite, Victor faces the mirror. Walking out of the room, Victor walks into the kitchen where Yuuri has already began to cook for lunch. Leaning down on his shoulder he breathes in slowly, holding his breath before letting out through a heavy sigh. 

“Victor. You’ll be late.” Yuuri chides, Victor can only find himself grinning. “Make sure to take your phone.” When Victor is about to pull out his phone to show Yuuri proudly has hasn’t forgotten it this time, his hands only meet empty air. He watches his boyfriend turn off the stove, not bothering to look at him as he walks into their bedroom, coming out with his phone in hand. Yuuri pauses midway before a chuckle escapes him. “Are you that nervous that you decide to not bother placing your tie on properly.” Yuuri grins, handing the phone to Victor, as he reties it in place, tugging on it lightly before he leans up, pecking Victor on the lips. 

“Call me if you need anything.” Victor smiles as he walks out the door. His hand tightly clasping the phone inside his pocket. 

Pushing open the glass doors, he checks in and is lead into an office room, and the lady tells him the doctor will meet with him shortly. Victor sits still, before he gets up, then sits down again. He isn’t sure what to do, but has an urge to do something. He wonders what the scans have to say about Victor. If it’s just to show Victor is too paranoid, he will practically skip home and shower Yuuri with kisses. The last visit the doctor said he has some assumptions but wanted to wait until the test results came out, before any further thoughts. Victor knows not to trust the internet, but he finds himself wondering from time to time, if whatever these recurring events had any correlation with something Victor needed to worry about, though he hasn’t found much. Few symptoms seem to be prominent while others amongst the list have never even shown up. But this was all just in case. For Yuuri, and their happiness. Victor wants to take as many precautions as possible. 

A knock resounds through the plain room. Before the door clicks open, revealing the doctor with a welcoming smile on his face. Not that Victor cares for it, that smile was routine, not genuine, and all he wants now is to hear the results. 

“Victor! How have you been?” The doctor takes his seat, taking out his file. 

“Anxious.” Victor replies, eyeing the file. 

“Honest, I see. Well,” The papers are taken out, as the doctor looks at him. “I’m sure you only want to hear about the test results, and based on diagnostics, I definitely don’t have good news.” Victor’s heart drops. “You've been telling me how you find yourself being forgetful often, about silly things you know you’ve been doing routinely. Correct?” Victor nods. “Memories are a bit fuzzy and find yourself messing up on daily tasks, and spacing out often?” Victor nods again. The doctor hums, as he flips the papers over to Victor. “Based on what you’ve said and your results, it seems what you will continue to deal with is a serious and an incurable issue.”

Victor stares at the graphs and words on paper, all of it foreign to him. He doesn’t need any long explanation, if the doctor hurries up and lets him know what it is, maybe he can figure something out with him. 

“What I mean to say is, Victor, you have Early-Onset Alzheimer’s.”


	2. 02

The wind brushes past his silver hair, his arms wrapping around his body as he felt the file hidden inside his jacket. If only this was all a bad dream that Victor could wake up from. If only it was just stress over taking his body to get his memories muddled together. But neither was the case. Victor knows that, but he can atleast have the privilege to wish; to be in denial until he begins to understand what his fate was. The file he hides holds an assortment of information that Victor needed to find time to read and contemplate over. Until then, he felt it would be best to keep it from Yuuri. The news would get out one day, but today could not be the day. 

He wasn’t ready. Victor couldn’t watch his beloved cry. Letting Yuuri remain in blissful ignorance for a while longer. 

Arriving home, he finds Yuuri untying an apron, the one Victor really liked. A lemon yellow that contrasts from Yuuri’s tinted cheeks from working in the heat. Yuuri must’ve heard the door click shut, that he turns around a bright smile on his face. Letting the apron hang loosely on his body, he walks out of the kitchen with a plate of warm steaming food in his hands. 

Victor smiles tiredly at Yuuri, before excusing himself to the restroom. Checking to make sure Yuuri is still in the kitchen, Victor takes out the file, and places it in his undergarment drawer. Before walking back to the living room, Victor sees his reflection. Pale, tired, and his eyes held no emotion, glazed over. 

“Is everything okay?” Yuuri places his hand on Victor’s shoulder gently squeezing it. The two had finished their lunch some time ago, but sat quietly at the table. Victor takes Yuuri’s hand in his, and presses his lips against the warmth, before resting his forehead against their hands and quietly sighing. 

“I guess a little tired.” Victor musters. He wonders if telling Yuuri would be better. But what could he explain? He still didn’t understand what Alzheimer’s was, and maybe he should’ve paid more attention as the doctor explained his case to him but it was too much to even want to listen to. The idea of forgetting everything, who he was, his Yuuri, and the time they shared together, just hurt him. But he could only imagine how painful it would be for Yuuri to hear about this news. 

Victor didn’t want to say anything else, and Yuuri must have understood for he didn’t ask anymore. 

\---

It’s been a week, as Victor tried to adjust his lifestyle to make it easier for him to move through his days. Throughout the week he has been meaning to find a time to sit down with Yuuri to let him know what happened at the doctor’s visit, but somehow their schedule became packed. Yakov visiting one day, Yuri asking Victor to help him with another choreo, and all the while slowly doing his own research on his diagnosis. 

Today was just to be another day where Victor didn’t have any plans, and scrolls through his phone when he gets a phone call. It was from the doctor’s office. 

“Victor! How have you been?” 

Victor remains silent for a second before responding, “Okay I suppose.”

“It has come to my attention that you have yet to get your medicine. Did you…” The doctor trails off as Victor huffs. 

Of course, “Yes, it seems I have forgotten.” Victor sees no surprise in it. Just tiresome. 

The doctor says a few more words and reminds him where the prescription is in his file to show the pharmacist. Victor pulls out the slip of paper unable to read what the name of the medicine is from the doctor’s scribbly handwriting. 

“Yuuri I’ll be right back!” Victor calls out as he slips into his shoes and rushes out the door. He should really sit down with Yuuri soon, before he forgets his own disease. 

\---

Another day went by in the week and Victor has not mustered the courage to pull Yuuri down to sit next to him and just tell him the truth. Victor couldn’t tell if there was anything noticeably changed in his demeanor, if there was Yuuri would’ve pointed it by now, but there was no mention of any sort.

“Victor, let’s go grocery shopping.” Victor hums, getting up as Yuuri quickly writes down the items they needed to buy. 

Arriving at the mart, Victor wraps his arms around Yuuri who is pushing the cart to only get chided by the other, and leaves Victor pouting. It’s always like this. The two spend more time goofing off at the marketplace than actually trying to find all the items the need to buy. More of Yuuri getting the items as Victor tries to distract him. 

Victor glances down at the list in the other’s hand and watches as Yuuri crosses off each one as they get the food. Victor helping out near the end as the two start getting hungry and need to go home to make dinner. They always try to cook dinner together, it had just become a habit of theirs, and the only time during the season they could relax and spend the most time together. 

As the two wait in the line, Yuuri suddenly slaps his forehead leaving a read mark.

“Victor! I forgot the soy sauce!” Yuuri steps away from the cart ready to run through the store.

“Wait here Yuuri, I’ll get it.” Victor pats Yuuri before excusing himself from the line and goes wandering through the aisles. He wonders where the soy sauce is, and rounds the corner to see bottles of vinegar, assorted oils and feels himself sigh in relief as he reaches forward. 

But when he looks up, his arm outstretched his hand grasping at the air he wonders what he’s doing here. His eyes roam over the multitude of bottles each with varying labels, confusing Victor. He retracts his arm, letting it fall to his side as he stares at the ground. He closes his eyes, as he tries to figure out what he was doing here. 

Yuuri said they needed to go grocery shopping. Victor was acting playful as usual, as Yuuri marked off items on the list. Then…

Victor looks around, where was Yuuri? If he finds him things would be okay. That is all he can make sense to, but Yuuri was nowhere to be found, and he couldn’t understand how the two must’ve gotten separated. His hands move to his hair, as he tugged, loosened his grip then tugged at the roots again. Nothing was making sense, he was sure he was with Yuuri. The two were walking down each aisle, but the next moments are amiss. Everything else is gone. Not even blurry, just nonexistent. 

“Victor!” With his hands still in his hair, his wide eyes turn to see Yuuri panting as he runs over to Victor, and taking a hold of his wrists. Yuuri continues to talk but he can’t understand any of it. All he could understand was Yuuri was by his side again. Yuuri found him. Everything was going to be okay. His grip on his hair loosened, and he leans his forehead against Yuuri’s, closing his eyes. 

“Let’s go Victor, I’m worried.” Yuuri whispers and Victor only hums in response. 

After Yuuri bowes to the woman at the register for making her wait, the two walk side by side, holding grocery bags. The walk home is quiet, but Victor knows something back there wasn’t right. He has forgotten something yet again, and these things were getting more frequent leaving Yuuri more worried. He knew what was hurting Yuuri was being left in the dark, but at the same time he was afraid. Afraid to know what would happen to the two of them after the truth was out there, but he also knew how selfish he was being with keeping the truth as a secret. He was selfish and couldn’t find a way to stop. 

That night Yuuri wouldn’t let Victor into the kitchen, claiming he needed rest more than anything. Their usual time was being broken. Victor wonders if Yuuri knew, would that be the end of their late night cooking? It was scary, scary to think about what changes were to come. It wasn’t something he was prepared for, but he also wanted to see this situation for Yuuri’s point of view. It’s going to be two weeks since Victor found out. How hurt would Yuuri be knowing that Victor kept this a secret for so long. 

“Victor?” Yuuri calls out softly. Pushing up from the couch, Victor takes his seat across from Yuuri who is staring down at his plate not picking up his fork. 

The two eat in silence for a while, until Yuuri clears his throat. 

“Back there, Victor…” Yuuri shifts his eyes from the glass of water to his food to anything else but Victor, trying to figure out how to phrase his thought. “You know I’m always here to listen right? If something was wrong, or if you’re hurting, let me know Victor.” Victor could only numbly nod. 

“When I stood in the line, and you still hadn’t returned I knew something was wrong. I know how much you goof off, but this was too much. I placed all of the food on the belt and excused myself to go find you. Going to where I suspected you to be, you were there thankfully.” Yuuri let’s out a shaky breath. “But, you were shaking. Hands up in your hair as if you were panicking. You didn’t even respond to most of my questions. I-I was so scared back there.” 

Ah, Victor truly was selfish. He hadn’t placed much thought into Yuuri’s feelings, and for that he deserved the worst. He could see how Yuuri was trying to bite back the tears as he stares up at the ceiling. He should tell him. Telling him right now, would be a good time.The door was open, all he has to do is take a step in. 

“Victor?” Yuuri calls out hesitantly. “I’m here too okay?” 

Victor truly hated himself. He was becoming ridiculously. When did he not trust Yuuri? Was he really just hiding the truth to protect Yuuri or to protect himself? He didn’t know the answer, though he wonders if he was doing both. He needs to tell him. Go on, say it. Victor opens his mouth to speak.

“Victor?” 

His mouth shuts promptly, he couldn’t say it. No, he should say it. It will be okay. Yuuri will listen to him, it was only right for Yuuri to know. 

“Victor?” He heard Yuuri push his chair back, and he felt a soft hand run through his hair. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” Victor pushes himself up, a scowl on his face. He looks over to see Yuuri retracting his hand to his side, his wide eyes staring up at him. “I’m going to bed.” He mumbles, as he walks away from the kitchen. 

Lying in bed he hears the sound of dishes being washed and put away. Victor should go apologize, explain he doesn’t know why he got so angry suddenly,, but his body won’t budge. So he remains their, curled up. 

After a few minutes of silence, Yuuri pads into the room, and Victor closes his eyes, breathing in slowly. The bed shifts under Yuuri’s weight. He hears the shuffle of the quilt as Yuuri pulls it over him. It seems as if Yuuri has lied down, but then he feels a warm hand on his hair. A kiss to his temple, along with a tired sigh. 

“Good night, Victor.” 

\--  
Victor woke up in silence. The bed vacant of his partner, as he thought back to the night before. He was able to remember his blunder easily. Oh the irony. What was the reason for Victor snapping at Yuuri. He of all people did not deserve that. Yuuri was worried about Victor’s well being and he goes off and gets angry. What was he? A child? 

Lying still in his spot, he hears the pitter patter of the shower, and the chirping of birds outside. He wonders how he could apologize to Yuuri. A spoken apology couldn’t be enough. It would mean he was trying to take the easy way out. Victor runs a hand through his hair as he wonders what would be a better idea.

Though his thoughts are interrupted by his phone making notification sounds. It was a reminder. Ah, right before he fell asleep he quietly typed down an idea of his for an apology. Though it does seem materialistic and knowing Yuuri he would say there was no reason to do what Victor planned to do. But he felt that for Yuuri he had a lot more to apologize for than just snapping at him, and it was a good way to start off. At least that was what he hoped. 

As Victor gets up, Yuuri pads out. 

“Oh! You’re up! Get ready, I’ll make us a quick breakfast.” His voice remained kind, and Victor only wishes Yuuri would get mad at him. Angry at him. This wasn’t right, was he just trying to be patient with him? He didn’t deserve any of this. But Victor remains quiet. After hearing Yuuri walk out their bedroom, Victor scampers into the bathroom, quickly getting ready to go out. He needed to do this. The longer he waited, the longer he had time to found excuses to not let Yuuri know anything. 

Leaving his hair damp, Victor puts on a simply jacket and rushes out of the room, already at the door slipping into his shoes. 

“Victor? Where are you going?” Yuuri walks out, his eyebrows knitted together. “Breakfast is almost done.” His voice shook near the end, making Victor pause. 

“Yuuri.” He spoke softly as he looks up taking a few steps toward him. He pulls Yuuri into an embrace, and neither say a word. There have been a lot of days where they hardly spoke and Victor didn’t like any of it. But he promised himself that would change. He caused the change, but he will try to fix it as much as possible. “There’s a lot I need to say, to tell you. I’ll be back, I promise.” He pulls back to see Yuuri’s eyes teary. Victor closes his eyes, he truly was an idiot. Placing a kiss to Yuuri’s temple, he steps away and opens the door. “See you in a bit.”

 

It might be ridiculous, but Victor wanted to try to make it up to Yuuri. Bit by bit. It was the least he could and should do. 

He rushed into the small sweet shop that was around the corner from their apartment. During off-season Victor and Yuuri would indulge in celebration on the shop’s sweets. The owner smiles upon seeing Victor enter his shop, and before Victor even says his order, the sweets are already ready for him. It was the only thing the two got after all. Walking out, he noticed a small lady with a flower stand across the street, a small bouquet of roses. Could liven up their room with some color. 

Victor smiles, it was hardly anything worth giving Yuuri, he deserved far more but in a small notice and with an explanation in need of being presented, this was the only thing Victor could come up with. Victor could only hope that all this would be received well. 

Looking up his walking comes to a halt. He was at a fairly busy street. He watches as people walk by, a man speaking fervently into his phone and a child tugging on his mother’s hand. The jingling of a bell nearby, and barks of dogs facing one another as the owners tried to pry each other away. A car whirring past him and he wonders where he was. A street so busy, he believes he hasn’t seen before. He turns around to see a little flower lady waving at him, and a sweet shop across the road. None of which he could recognize. 

Victor was sure he was still in bed moments ago, so why was he standing on the street? With one hand holding a bag of food and the other holding a bouquet. Nothing was making sense as he wanders down the street, the street was unfamiliar and he had no idea as to which he needed to go to head back home.

Just then he feels his pocket buzz and pulls out, reading the contact ID. “Husband.” and it had a heart right next to it. The phone call ended before he could pick it up. Why did Victor have an ID caller named as Husband? The phone brightens up again with the same person calling. Victor chooses to pick it up. 

“Victor! You said you’d be right back, but it’s been a while. Is everything alright?”

“...Husband?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well a lot happened in this chapter. Initially I decided to cut the story short, but it just didn't feel right? So here is the full version as planned. Let me know what you think!


	3. 03

Everything was silent between Victor and the person on the other end. He merely called out the name the contact had, but with a surprised gasp the ‘husband’ had become quiet. Victor wondered if he should just end the call and try to figure out where he was and how to get home. He looked at the bakery again, and then at the plastic bag he held. Both had the same logo. 

“Victor, where are you?” The voice cracked near the end, and Victor only hummed. He was trying to figure that out as well, so whoever was on the other line wouldn’t get an answer until Victor found out his own location. 

Still on the phone, he took a few steps rounding the corner to face another long street, on either side were little shops, cafes, and apartments. He wasn’t sure how he could navigate his way home when none of the place looked familiar. 

“Victor!” A shout from the other end caused Victor to abruptly stop. He knew that voice. He wasn’t sure how, but it started to seem more familiar than he was making it out to be. Where had he heard this voice? 

“Victor, are you lost? Say something!” 

“Husband?” Victor called out again, there had to be a name. But no name came to his mind, no face came to his mind. Nothing, but the odd feeling of familiarity from the panic-stricken shouts. 

“It’s me Yuuri. What’s going on?” The voice had become quiet, as if too afraid to hear an answer to his own question. 

“Yuuri…” Victor hummed, the name still didn’t ring a bell, but this person was labeled as husband in his contacts, but wouldn’t that mean he was married? Pulling up the hand was holding the sweets, he saw on his ring finger a gold ring, with a small diamond encased inside. 

“We’re married.” It was a statement. Even in the midst of his own confusion Victor knew there was no denying a ring wrapped around his finger that he had no recollection of putting on, but it was still there. 

“Where are you?” Yuuri’s voice quivered and Victor felt his heart clench. Nothing made sense but it seemed only Yuuri could help him out, maybe he would remember if he saw Yuuri’s face. 

“I don’t know.” 

“Describe where you are and stay there. I’ll be able to find you.” Yuuri explained, and he heard shuffling in the background and something clatter.

Victor looked around, before turning back to where he had once stood. Right across the bakery where a wooden bench was. He took a seat and looked at his surroundings. 

“There’s a bakery,” Victor paused, he was able to read the name minutes ago, but now everything looked the same. The letters would blend in before reappearing before confusing him again. “I’m sitting across from it. Um, there’s a lady selling flowers as well and…” 

“I know where you are. Wait for me there okay?” With that Yuuri ended the call, leaving Victor to stare at his phone. He closed his eyes, feeling tired suddenly. It was only to rest his eyes as he waited for Yuuri to find him, and then he would figure things out. 

Blinking his tired eyes, he pushes his legs out and his arms up in the air as he stretched. Rubbing his eyes, Victor pulled out his phone. Had he dosed off? He was supposed to go home before lunch but it was well past their lunch time. He should call Yuuri and let him know he was on his way, though he really doesn’t know why he was out for such a long time. 

“Victor!” 

Victor looked up to find Yuuri running towards him with his arms outstretched. Getting up just as he opened his mouth to call out Yuuri’s name, he is pulled down into a hug as Yuuri sniffled. 

“Thank god, you’re okay.” Yuuri wrapped his arms around Victor’s waist, burying himself closer.

Waiting patiently, he rubs circles over the small of Yuuri’s back as his sniffles died down. Was he worried why it took Victor so long to return home? 

Yuuri pulled back and looked at Victor, his eyes red. He mustered a small smile as his fingers brushed through silver hair. 

The two remained quiet, merely staring into each other’s eyes. Not out of love, but in worry for the other. Yuuri’s eyebrows knit together as he pulled away from their embrace. His hands fisted into Victor’s jacket as he bowed his head. 

“Yuuri? What’s wrong love?” Victor reached his hands out, cupping Yuuri’s face, slowly pulling his head up. 

“You remembered me this time.” 

In that moment, as Victor watched Yuuri’s eyes glaze over, tears staining pale cheeks his heart stopped for a split second before it started to race off. No, he couldn’t have possibly forgotten Yuuri. His beloved, angelic Yuuri. The one whom he vowed to share the rest of his life with and cherish every moment they spent together. Even with Alzheimer's wouldn’t it be too soon to forget Yuuri? The doctor had even said he was still in the early stages. He had been taking medicine as prescribed, trying not to put himself under too much stress. 

Why?

Why now?

Why did it have to be him?

He said he would always love Yuuri and never make him cry. Yet here he was,watching his love cry out in pain in front of him. 

This wasn’t how he wanted Yuuri to find out. For him to be in pain and still not know all the details. 

Without uttering a single word, Victor took a hold of Yuuri’s wrist and pulled them away from their tight grip against his sweater. Stepping forward, he wrapped his arms tightly around Yuuri, pressing his lips against the soft, black hair. 

“I’m sorry. There is a lot I need to tell you, but I never intended for things to turn out like this. I never wanted you to be hurt, but I was too selfish.” Yuuri looked up and Victor could only muster a small smile, as he leaned down pressing his lips against Yuuri’s forehead. 

“Let’s go home. Are you hungry?” Yuuri held Victor’s hand tightly as they began to walk home. Victor numbly shook his head, he won’t let himself get distracted again. There is no reason to find excuses anymore. He had his time, he was selfish enough but all that had to come to an end. 

Quietly placing his shoes on the corner, Yuuri was about to enter the kitchen, but Victor didn’t let go of the other’s hand as he stood next to the shoe rack. 

“Victor, you haven’t eaten all day. Let me get you something to eat.” Yuuri sighed, but Victor wouldn’t let go.

“I can’t eat now. Just let me tell you some things. I’ve been hiding them from you.” After each sentence Victor had to inhale deeply before letting out the words slowly. 

The two shuffled into the living room and sat next to each other on the sofa. Victor glanced at their hands, the rings shimmering under the soft glow from the room’s lights. Both of them wanted to get the same pair of rings, and on the inside have each other's name engraved to the gold. 

These would be gentle reminders to Victor, and maybe when the day comes he forgets everything, he would still look at this rings and realise that the man he loved was in front of him.

“Yuuri.” Oh how Victor wanted to spend the night just calling out his lover’s name. Again. And again. 

Yuuri hummed, brushing away Victor’s bangs, his hand resting against Victor’s cold cheek. He found himself wondering how he would react if he forgot about Yuuri, when he would be touched like this. He hoped he wouldn’t flinch away. 

“Have you noticed how forgetful I’ve been lately?”Victor didn’t look up, continuing to stare at their hands clasped tightly. 

“I feel like that has been just a trait of yours. Though, I guess it’s a little too often.” Yuuri pondered. 

“Well it definitely was too often, and when I went to the doctor’s office,” He slowly inhaled, “I found out the reason behind it.”

“I have Alzheimer's.” 

After that it was quiet, except for Victor’s heart beat pounding in his ears. He didn’t want to look up, to see the expression Yuuri had. He was afraid, and selfish as always. But he didn’t hear anything from Yuuri. There was no movement. 

“I-I’m sorry I kept it from you for so long. I have no excuse other than I was afraid. What would happen to us now, what if I hurt you more. There were so many questions that consumed me that I didn’t know what to do.” 

“Victor, look at me.” Yuuri spoke softly, his hands disappearing from Victor’s as they cupped Victor’s face. 

Victor slowly looked up to see Yuuri smiling softly, despite the tears in his eyes. Victor averted his eyes elsewhere, and heard Yuuri sigh. Scooting himself closer, he felt Yuuri’s chapped lips press against his temple. 

“I just don’t want to forget you, Yuuri.” Victor took a hold of Yuuri’s wrist, pressing a kiss against the inside, relishing the warmth the other gave off. “I don’t want to forget about us, and everything we’ve done together. I can’t let myself forget.” Victor stopped talking when he felt his bottom lip quiver. 

Yuuri remained quiet as well, pressing his forehead against Victor’s. Before he softly spoke, “I only wish you had told me earlier. I would’ve found out, and you didn’t need to keep it a secret and hurt yourself in the process right?” 

“But it doesn’t mean you should be hurting too.”

“Victor,” Yuuri pulled back with a frown, “When you’re in pain, I am too. You know why? It’s because I care about you. I love you. And I’ll always help you no matter what, and will try my best to always be there for you. But when you shoulder everything, I do feel hurt that you couldn’t confide in me. I begin to wonder what I did for you to not trust me.”

“But that’s not--it’s not like I don’t trust you!” 

“Shh, I know. But I can’t help but feel that way. But now I know, let me help you. It’ll be okay, it’s not curable right? We’ll have to work with what we have, and cherish our time together. And Victor?”

Victor hummed, his vision blurring. 

“If it becomes too difficult for you to remember, I’ll be sure to hold onto our memories.”

The two spent their night close to one another, there weren’t many words spoken between either of them. It wasn’t needed, they both had one thing on their mind and were trying to live to the most of what they could, accepting the fate. 

A few days had gone by, as Victor showed the documents the doctor had given him. The medicine was out in the open and the two were coming back from Victor’s check up. Yuuri had gotten more information than he could comprehend on how to help Victor, but he promised himself to do more research when the two went home. 

As the two passed by various shops, Victor came to a halt as he stared into the window. He sees a black camera glaring at him, beckoning him. But seeing the boxy camera, it was no digital camera, it was merely a polaroid that seemed to release small pictures. But with this, Victor wondered if a polaroid was better. He wouldn’t have to remember to go print pictures, and he would get to see his results instantly. 

“Victor?”

Tugging Yuuri inside, he reached over and picks up the camera and carefully inspected it. This seemed sturdy and the price tag wasn’t as much of a worry as Victor had initially thought it would be. 

Displaying the camera in front of Yuuri, Victor smiled. 

“If I can’t remember, the pictures can capture all of our memories.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lot's of dialogue. Though dialogue is not my forte, let me know what you guys think. I also realized I ended all of my chapters with a dialogue. Well that can't be a bad thing right?


	4. 04

Victor grinned as he felt Yuuri’s head softly tap against his shoulder, before Yuuri pulled himself away, rubbing his eyes tiredly. The two had returned from celebrating Yuri’s birthday party, and neither of them at first were tired, opting to watch a movie. While Victor felt wide awake, Yuuri on the other hand started to struggle to keep his eyes open. As Victor kept his eyes on his tired husband, he reached down to wear his bag stayed, pulling out the camera. Squinting one eye, he steadied his hands, trying to keep still as possible as he looked at Yuuri’s eyelids closing. 

Snap!

Yuuri groaned, covering his face. “Victor!” With a wide grinning, Victor got up and rushed inside their bedroom grabbing his craft supplies, rushing back to the couch as he plopped down. The polaroid sticked out, and opening to a new page, Victor unscrewed the glue stick and rubbed it all over on the back of the picture. Carefully placing the picture within the margins, he marveled at Yuuri’s sleeping face. His pink lips slightly parted as his lashes looked like soft, black feathers. His cheeks were dusted lightly and his hair wisped about that made Victor’s heart flutter. 

“You really are sleeping beauty.” Victor mused, as he pulled out a black pen. Writing in his usual cursive, he jotted down a note. 

“Victor, please.” Yuuri shifted on the couch, as he rested his chin on Victor’s shoulder. Peering down to see what Victor had written down, Yuuri chuckled softly, turning his head and brushed the tip of his nose against the nape of Victor’s neck. Victor reached over, and brushed his knuckles gently against Yuuri’s overheated cheek. He always loved making Yuuri flustered, he was undeniably adorable with the various shades of pink tinting his skin. 

Closing the scrapbook, Victor hummed. He was thankful nothing had occurred during the birthday party, though he felt even worse for having Yuuri worry over him so much. He hadn’t realised how much of Yuuri’s time he must’ve consumed, when he could have been talking with the rest of the guest there he had been with Victor all day. Normally Victor knew he would absolutely love the idea of Yuuri being clingy, but not for this sort of reason. 

“Did you have fun today?” Yuuri kissed Victor’s cheek, as he draped his arms around Victor’s neck. 

“Hmm yes, did you?” 

“Of course.” Yuuri yawned and let his head rest against Victor’s shoulder. “I’m tired.” 

Victor let out a laugh, his hand reaching up to pinch Yuuri’s cheek. Yuuri murmured in complaint but kept his eyes shut. Victor closed his eyes as he leaned back into the couch as he pulled Yuuri closer to his chest. He wished he could fall asleep just as quickly as Yuuri, but alas it was not a quality he possessed, so his mind drifted. Drifted to various subject matters, but in the end landing on his own future with Yuuri. He worried. He was scared. He was scared and worried for Yuuri. Yuuri had said many times he has chosen to spend his life with Victor, but in the end the Victor Yuuri fell in love with will be gone, and then what? Yuuri shouldn’t go through any of this. And Victor may not even remember to tell Yuuri to live a better life than to become a babysitter for a grown man with the mind of a child. 

“Stop thinking,” Yuuri murmured as his hand lazily cupped Victor’s cheek. “Your eyebrows are creasing again.” As if that was enough of any explanation to suffice for the fact that he had been pay attention to Victor rather than falling asleep. 

Victor leaned down, his lips brushing against Yuuri’s. He tongue flicked over Yuuri’s lips, and smiled as he watched his lover’s face scrunched up in distaste. With a grunt, he pulled himself up along with Yuuri, and walked into their bedroom. 

____

Victor quickly realised that he had a new habit, though he saw it as a good habit, Yuuri might’ve seen it otherwise. The sun was out despite the cold weather outside and the house filtered in sunlight making both of their moods overall uplifted. Victor was helping Yuuri cut up some vegetables when he peered behind his shoulders to see Yuuri brushing his hair back. He wasn’t sure if he had ever said this aloud, though he had a strong need to.

“Why are you always attractive despite what you do?” Victor groaned, placing the knife down. 

“Huh?” Yuuri craned his neck back, a pink flush evident on his features. 

Victor grabbed a hold of the camera that was sitting on the counter and held it up. He always had the camera right next to him, he didn’t want to miss anything. 

“Do that again?” Victor murmured, steadying the camera. 

“Do what?” Yuuri covered his face, he had always been camera shy and now Yuuri always found himself on guard. He knew there was no harm, but it was just his instinct. He never liked taking pictures despite what others have said. 

“Brushing your hair back.” 

“Victor!” Yuuri whined, but he still found his hand in his hair as Yuuri averted his gaze. He could never be frustrated with the situation, especially whenever he saw how excited Victor got as the polaroid slowly slided out and Victor would write down notes next to each picture looking down at his work satisfied.

____

After a while Yuuri thought they could add a new collection to their increasing scrapbooks, and called Yuuko to see if she could ship an item from home.

“Yuuri! There’s a package.” Victor held out the box in confusion. “Did you order this?”

“Yup, Yuko sent it over. I thought we could try something new.” Yuuri grabbed the scissors and carefully pulled out a video camera. “I thought having some videos would be nice as well.”

Victor grinned brightly, as he sat next to Yuuri, and waited for the camera to turn on, only to find the red light blinking at them. 

“Looks like the battery’s out.” Yuuri pushed himself off the bed to fumble with charger cord. 

And later throughout that day, Yuuri carried the camera around trying to stifle his giggles but failing as he would record Victor’s usual antics and tried to make Victor laugh as much as possible, something even Yuuri never wanted to forget. 

As nighttime approached Victor, in the midst of explaining something to Yuuri, drifted off mid sentence a he stared straight ahead. Yuuri who had been fumbling with the remote control to change the battery whilst listening to Victor paused. Neither said a word as Yuuri wanted to look, to check what happened, but he found himself scared. Scared to see Victor, worried if he knew what happened he wouldn’t be able to help. But this wasn’t the first time so why did he find himself unable to move? It wouldn’t do any good to remain still. Yuuri knew, he was logical but his body wouldn’t listen to him, or maybe his body knew him better then his logical thoughts.

“Time…” Victor mused softly, “Eight…” 

“Thirty.” Yuuri managed to croak, but it was enough to regain his composure and when he turned his head his eyes met alarmed blue ones. But Yuuri waited, that was all he could do. Freaking out and panicking will only hurt Victor mentally so he waited, Like he always did. Watching to decipher Victor’s next behaviour. 

“Thirty.” Victor stated, as if the word was foreign on his tongue. “Eight-thirty.” 

“Yeah, do you wanna go to bed?” Yuuri mustered a smile, there were moments when suddenly Victor would come back to his usual self as if nothing had happened, other times Victor would have to sleep out. 

But watching Victor nod with a smile, Yuuri said nothing as he got up and held Victor’s hand as they decided to rest for the night. 

Yuuri hadn’t been able to fall asleep and wondered what kind of reason he would be able to come up with in order to explain the dark circles sure to show up tomorrow. He curled up on his side, his back facing Victor’s sleeping body, and a tear rolled down his nose, dripping onto the pillow. 

He hadn’t been this afraid. It wasn’t the first time he had dealt with Victor’s episodes. But he knew that the more frequent they were the closer Victor was to forgetting everything. He put up a smile on his face, to keep Victor and himself strong. But he couldn’t complain, not when Victor was trying even harder to work with his case. 

Softly blowing out air, his voice hiccupped and he placed a fist against his mouth trying to muffle any sobs that dared to escape. 

“Yuuri?” 

Yuuri freezed, his eyes shutting tightly as he felt the bed shift. Hearing a sigh, Yuuri tried to even his breathing. 

“Are you having a bad dream?” Victor murmured and bent down brushing the soft hair back. 

Yuuri felt another tear rolled out, and could feel Victor’s hand freeze in his hair. Victor wiped at the tear and Yuuri tried to relax his body more, until he felt himself being shaken. 

“Yuuri?” 

Yuuri had no choice but to wake, he knew it would only worry Victor otherwise. Peeling his eyes open, he wiped away his tears and looked up to see Victor with his eyebrows knitted and with a deep frown. His blue eyes looking Yuuri over as if trying to find any sign of an issue.

“Were you having a bad dream?” 

Yuuri thought for a moment, he could lie. He could just say that was the case and both of them could go to bed, but would hiding his own feelings be fair to Victor? Afteralll he himself has stated how it felt when Victor had kept the fact that Victor had Alzheimer's from him for a long time. 

“I’m scared.” Yuuri never could lie to Victor. Maybe it was his tired state that pushed him forward to spill the truth, or his unconscious need for Victor to know hiw own feelings as well. 

“There was an episode wasn’t there?” Victor sighed as he pushed himself up. 

“No no, lie down.” Yuuri tugged on Victor’s sleeve, and watched as he settled back onto the bed, his hair covering half of his face as Yuuri turned on his side to face him. “Yeah, there was.”

“Did I do anything to hurt you?” Victor gulped eyes widening at whatever thoughts that had come across his mind. 

“Of course not Victor.” Yuuri smiled softly and reached over to brush his fingers against pale cheek. “It’s just, I couldn’t help but worry and panic.” He admitted meekly, burying his face further into the pillow. 

Victor reached over, his thumb stroking Yuri's cheek. He wasn’t sure if words could describe the feelings and thoughts he had but he hoped Yuuri could understand what he had to say. 

“I’m sorry. You really don’t need to go through with all this.” And Victor meant it. Yuuri didn’t need to struggle mentally and physically with this, the doctor even said there were homes available where a nurse would take care of Victor. It may be the best option. 

This time Yuuri pushed himself up to glare at Victor, an expression he wasn’t expecting. “How many times do I need to say it?” His lips began to shake, “I want to be with you. Help you along the way to the best of my ability. I know I told you how I felt today, but that doesn’t mean I should be pushed away either.” Victor watched silently as Yuuri gulped as if swallowing back a sob. “I just felt helpless,” Tears dripped down his face, tapping the pillow, “and I was worried what would happen if I would fail to take care of you.” 

“Yuuri, don’t blame yourself for anything.” Victor reached up to gently pull Yuuri to his side, and wiped away the tears. Even his vision began to blur, but he didn’t want Yuuri to feel even worse if he misunderstood Victor’s tears. So the two fell back into silence, Victor gently rubbing Yuuri’s back as Yuuri buried himself closer into Victor’s warmth. 

____

Yuuri let out a laugh as he tried to push Victor away. But he felt his arms go weak as another laugh bubbled in his throat. Victor nuzzled his head into the crook of Yuuri’s neck as his fingers continued to tickle Yuuri’s side, relishing in the bright laughs filling their early morning. Peppering kisses down his soft skin, his hands ruffled underneath the t-shirt rubbed the warm skin, as Yuuri’s chuckles died down. He closed his eyes as he felt fingers run through his silver hair. 

“We should get ready.” Yuuri murmured and Victor could only sigh in complaint. If the two of them could stay like this all day, he would cancel all plans they had today. But days where they could relax were coming close to an end. 

“Vitya, do you wanna go take a shower?” 

“No.” Victor rested his head on Yuuri’s chest and could hear the soft heartbeat. 

“Then I’ll go get ready.” Yuuri managed to pull himself out of Victor’s grasp who only pouted in response. You could only laugh at the sight before him. Victor sill sleepy, squinting his eyes as his bottom lip jutted out in protests. 

After hearing the shower turn on Victor rolled onto his back, his eyes landing on the camera and he grinned cheekily. He didn’t think he had a picture of freshly showered Yuuri in his collection, so it wouldn’t be too late for Victor take one. 

Pushing himself up in the bed, he reached out to his nightstand and pulled back the lofty camera. His eyes looked around the camera, his fingers pressed against the lens. His finger rolled over it in confusion, he knew he wanted to take a picture. A picture of...Yuuri!

That’s right! He had wanted to take a picture of Yuuri, so what was he waiting for? Victor looked back at the polaroid in his hands. The lens faced him and when he placed his eye in front of it, all he saw was darkness. 

“Why can’t I see anything?” Victor pulled back, before looking through the lens again. “Maybe if I click the button it’ll show me something.” Victor couldn’t remember if that was the way he had always done it, but he wasn’t sure what else to do. 

But where was the button?

“No.” Victor clutched the camera tightly. “No. No. No.” He hunched over hugging the camera. 

“Victor! You can take a shower now-” Yuuri stopped mid step as Victor sat on the bed, hunched over murmuring softly to himself. 

Yuuri quietly placed a hand on Victor’s back, rubbing his hand up and down in a soothing manner. He watched Victor fumble with the camera and his murmuring came to a halt. 

“Yuuri?” Victor called out. “Can take a picture?” 

“Of course.”

Yuuri smiled and lifted the camera as he took a seat next to Victor, ignoring his now wet towel. Tapping Victor’s hand, when he looked up and showed a smile, Yuuri grinned as well. 

Snap!

 

[Epilogue] 

Victor met a man as he stood at the bus stop. He said his name was Chris, and offered to take him home. 

“How do you know where I live?” Victor was surprised as he followed Chris down the street as he passed a bakery. He wondered if it was recently built there. 

“I live around here. Thought you might like some company.” Chris only smiled as he slowed down his steps to meet Victor’s. 

Chris knocked on the door as Victor rummaged inside his pockets for his keys. There was no one else inside, so why would he be knocking. 

“Chris! Thank you.” Victor paused. When he looked up he saw a man with his glasses propped on his nose smiling up at him. 

Chris waved goodbye and Victor hesitantly walked inside and saw strings of pictures hanging in his living room. His hand reached out to one of the pictures. 

In it he was grinning broadly, his arms wrapped around someone. The back of the person’s head was facing him, so he had no idea who he was hugging. But he pulled out another one and saw a face he couldn’t recognize pouting in his direction as he held blue glasses in his hands. The next one was Victor kissing who seemed like the same man from the other picture. 

“Victor?” He looked up to see the man pull off his blue glasses and rub them on his shirt. 

“Is this you?” Victor held up the picture. He watched the man nod, his smile never faltering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! haha,  
> well as always I would appreciate comments.  
> thank you for reading this little fic of mine  
> and if you'd like you can check out my other victuuri fics :)


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